Josh Freed: It’s not like there’s no sunshine. It’s a solar eclipse!

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Welcome to Eclipse Fever. This is an age-old phenomenon that causes school boards to feel awe, fear, excitement, curiosity, and paranoia.

The next total solar eclipse is not scheduled until 2106, so this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a total solar eclipse in Montreal.

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That’s 84 years from now, so no matter how healthy the Mediterranean diet is, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to stick to it.

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It’s no wonder half the people I know are on the hunt for eclipse glasses, but now, during the coronavirus pandemic, they’re as hard to find in Montreal stores as toilet paper.

I ordered a $20 pair online and they are expected to arrive on Sunday. If I don’t arrive on time, will I get my money back or should I save it until the next eclipse?

If you don’t have glasses, eclipse rallies similar to the Millennium Rally will be held across the city on Monday.

Hundreds of thousands of glasses will be available everywhere. Jean-Drapeau Park gathering to “Solar Eclipse Fair” at the Trottier Space Institute” was held on the McGill campus.

Countless music sites offer song recommendations perfect for the eclipse, from Ain’t No Sunshine to Dancing in the Dark to Here Comes the Sun.

Across North America, millions of eclipse seekers are traveling long distances, reacting to the phenomenon like animals startled by the weather.

Heavy traffic jams are expected across the continent as everyone enters the same directional request into Google Maps: “Find the total solar eclipse closest to me.”

Zoologists, on the other hand, are keen to see how animals react.will they act As reported in one solar eclipse account in 1544The report claims that “birds either fell to the ground or flew straight into the house,” while the dogs either “barked or yelped” or “did not bark or yelp.”

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My own question for zoologists. Does any animal species need special glasses for protection? We bet a million cat owners have already ordered eclipse glasses for their kitty.

After all, humans have always behaved strangely during solar eclipses. Many ancient people believed that the sun was burning out and the world was coming to an end, so it was time to sacrifice more sheep and humans.

The ancient Chinese apparently beat their drums and shouted to drive them away. The invisible god of the dragon moon who tries to devour the sun.

Some tribes shot fiery arrows into the sky They had hoped that the sun would flare up again, and they proudly knew that it had worked when the sun returned.

Some people even thought that a solar eclipse was a good omen. It was a good time to have children because the sun and moon were in love with each other.

My favorite legendary ritual was that of the Batan Mariba people of West Africa. They believed that solar eclipses were an expression of human anger and that the battle was so bad that it affected the moon and sun.

To resolve this, Batan Mariba ended all ongoing conflicts after the eclipse. If we just follow their example, this eclipse could be the chance for much-needed world peace.

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Of course, in today’s age of sophisticated science, we no longer have that primitive fear of sun and moon gods. We fear the new health god.

In Quebec and other parts of Canada, most students are either staying home or being sent home more than two hours before this amazing moment. School officials want to hide them from the sun, like cavemen fearing Armageddon.

These students will spend their entire lives safely wearing eclipse glasses under the guidance of professional educators who will help them marvel at the amazing changes that have awed people for thousands of years. You may have experienced a once-in-a-lifetime wonder.

The wind suddenly picks up, the temperature plummets, and the birds go silent. How stars suddenly appear in broad daylight.

But many nervous school boards say it’s just not possible to keep children safely at school for an extra 30 minutes to watch the total solar eclipse, which will take place around 3:27 p.m. However, they knew that this eclipse was the first since the last one in 1932.

Instead, they drop their children off on weekday afternoons, when many parents are still at work. So while countless children will be at home alone staring at their phones, hopefully they won’t be staring at the sky without glasses.

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I know it takes some organization to make sure my 30 kids have the right glasses to see out the window. Especially when so many kids are staring at their phones. But is it really safer to send children home unless their parents want to?

My guess is that it’s partially safer for school board lawyers to let kids go home alone if the school isn’t responsible for them. For thousands of years, solar eclipses brought fear to the gods, but now they bring fear to lawsuits.

Everything in life involves a risk-reward equation, whether your children are participating in injury-prone sports like hockey, skiing, biking, windsurfing, or simply driving in the family car. there is.

But these risks are rarely compared to the unique opportunity to see the wonders of the world. Schools are already closed on snow days, but now you can add solar eclipse days.

Anyway, if you enjoy this magical moment, don’t miss it. The entire solar eclipse is expected to last 2 hours and 22 minutes, so get your glasses ready.

If it lasts longer, it might be wise to have fire arrows ready as well.

joshfreed49@gmail.com

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